I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
the gays at disneyland are vicious
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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