I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
