you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize