he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
