We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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