By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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