its not stalking. its research.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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