I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Randomize
