This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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