i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
