My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I'm sobbing to NWA
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
