You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
