it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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