well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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