I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
The air taste purple.
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
