When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize
