When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
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