I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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