dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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