Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Randomize
