you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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