I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
