now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Randomize
