i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
