omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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