FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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