Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
