Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
