So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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