Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
