Swine flu. Run for my life!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
