In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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