I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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