So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
