so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
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