I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
