Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
