she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Randomize
