Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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