4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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