It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
