Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
