dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
