Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
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