he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
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