If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
