I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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