dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Randomize
