What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
