Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
