doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
