Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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