i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
