remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
