omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
