new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
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