There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
