Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
